I tried WoW and I hated it.

Yes-- I tried World of Warcraft.  I did my best to give it an honest go.  But I managed to get killed off in the first twenty minutes or so of play and didn't care enough about the game to regenerate myself.

I was open minded-- I ignored my brother's teasing and set up a free trial account, and Blaph the pink-haired Gnome rogue set off on her first and only semi-adventure.

Apparently in WoW, there are two "sides"- they are called the "Alliance" and the "Horde" in the game,  but they're basically Good and Evil as far as I could tell.  Anyway, I was a Good Guy (Gal, really), and began my short-lived time in the world of Azeroth.

In Azeroth, Gnomes are not creepy little garden figurines that come to life under a full moon and murder you in your sleep like they are on Earth.  They are kind of like Santa's elves I guess- they like to "tinker" in "workshops" and "make" stuff.  (It would appear that outsourcing isn't really a concept in the fantasy genre.)

Anyway, after a short introductory video explained all this to me, I was dumped in (and I am not making this up) a Gnomish subway station plagued with dangerous lepers.

Now, I hate germs and disease much more than pretty much everyone else, but this scenario offended my "liberal sensibilities."  In a world where you have all types of magic and healing spells, someone couldn't take the time to sprinkle a little fairy dust on the lepers?  Wasn't that what Jesus wanted us to do (metaphorically speaking)?

Of course, my typed response when the lepers asked for my help was "sorry, i really dont care."  And then I ditched them to go kill fluffy animated bunnies.

So, yeah...

I also learned that in Azeroth, unlike in real life, cowardice is not rewarded.

I was having a fun time stabbing ogres and rabbits and all, but I finally met my end (or rather, Blaph met finally met her end) when I decided it was time to figure out what the hell I was actually supposed to be doing.  (World of Warcraft is not a good place for people who don't like to do video game problem-solving.)  I was walking along when another ogre thing attacked me, unprovoked.  I didn't really feel like fighting, so I decided to run away using the zig-zag patterns that zebras use to tire out ravenous cheetahs.

But Blizzard doesn't like it when you do that.  Blizzard sends other monsters after you to punish you for your pacifistic approach.  The monsters gang up on you, and the next thing you know you are in a graveyard, being told to "find your body" if you want to keep playing.

And if you don't, you click the exit button, shut down your computer, and thank God that you didn't enjoy your short-lived foray into the World of Warcraft.

Ready for liftoff!

Well, I had a pleasant return visit to Upstate New York, but tomorrow I'm hitting the road to go back to the Great White North.  I've spent the past few days gathering my provisions and supplies for the journey ahead.
Already acquired:

One (1) Large box of Nerds (to give to my friend Hannah if I do not eat them all on the bus.) (I would like to apologize in advance to Hannah for eating her Nerds.)

Two (2) Flannel shirts, purple in hue (Never thought I'd say this, but I need to wear more plaid if I want to fit in)

One (1) Complete season of South Park (As the DVD's of Futurama were too expensive and Comedy Central doesn't stream to Canada.)

Two (2) Books: Dostoevsky's The Idiot (so I have something to read when I'm feeling like the only sane person in a world gone mad), as well as a guide to humorous Quebecois expressions (when I'm in a more lighthearted, utilitarian mood.)

Seventeen (17) containers of various types of medication and nasal sprays (I'm not sure why they gave me nasal sprays because my ear hurts.  Maybe my pharmacist is just sadistic.)



Yet to be acquired:

One (1) decent pair of Smugglin' pants

Two (2) bus tickets

Various (4<) Garden gnome accessories.

I feel really bad because I screwed up my schedule and was consequently unable to visit my best friend in the whole wide world this week.  I had a Quebec-pride flask to give her, but she never got it.  (I'm sorry, Erin.)  So I have decided to start dressing up the garden gnome she gave me at Christmastime in seasonal outfits when I get back to TR, and I will send her pictures.  That way, it'll be almost like we are together for HolidaySeasonPreparationTime! again.

Any suggestions for what I should pack the next time I make the trip?  Or for HolidaySeasonPreparationTime! ?

Much love,
D

Hockey!

On Friday night, I went to my first Canadian hockey match.  The UQTR was playing Laurier.  Unfortunately, we arrived after the match had started (there was some confusion as to which arena we were supposed to go, and then we got very lost on our way to the correct location.)  But what we saw was quite entertaining.  Hockey is a fast-moving sport, and there is a lot of sportmanslike violence.

At the end of the match, I was a bit disappointed- no fights had broken out, and there was no blood on the ice.  I did, however, enjoy some deliciously greasy frites during halftime, so that made the players' safety a little less disappointing.

And, for all of my Upstate NY readers- I'll be coming round the mountains in a week for a visit home! Call me if you want to hang out.

New Post!

The weather is terrible right now, but I am in a great mood!  Do you want to know why?  Well, I'll tell you!

I tried to walk to Loblaws about an hour ago but I had barely left my apartment when the sky got black and the rain started pouring.  (It's been pretty wet here in T.R. lately.)  I was going to keep going, but the wind was making this weird buzzing noise, and figured that I should go back inside just in case we were having another tornado.  Since everyone in New York knew about the tornado before I did last time, I decided to turn on the Quebec news, so that I wouldn't feel like an idiot again incase something newsworthy happened.

Well, there was no tornado reported, but I noticed that I was understanding all of the stories!  Which is pretty exciting, as I've only been here for less than two months.  My French really has gotten better! While I still struggle to speak it sometimes, it is much easier to understand what other people are saying, even on TV, where they aren't slowing down for me.

I've also been watching a show on Canal D called Legendes Urbaines, which is about- you guessed it!- urban legends.  Tonight's episode told the story of a woman who supposedly got herpes in her eye after a male stripper threw his underwear on her face, and that of a guy who was pretending to talk on his cell phone in a very exclusive club that didn't get cellular service, and everyone knew but him.  It's kind of like Snopes, but the stories are told in the style of a true-crime TV show, so it's hard to figure out whether or not the legends actually happened.  (For some reason, re-enactments make everything more believable for me.)

I`m on the library computer

Yes, after all I went through to get my own internet connection up and running, I have now been cut off again and must use someone else`s.  Good Lord, I now have to leave my appartment to indulge my inner narcissist online.  Not cool.

And holy merde, I just found the question mark symbol.  I actually had to ask a girl in the library how to "faire le signe d`arrobe" so that I could make an @.  Well, to make up for all of my poorly punctuated questions on Facebook today, here you are: ???????????????

Well, I was wrong about the date of the placement test.  It was today.  And it was hard.  But I guess that`s kind of the point. 

I`m already making friends, too, which is nice--- and, I must admit, unexpected.  I particularly hit it off with Ana from Mexico, Chan from China, Ingo from Austria, and Jo, Hannah, and Marcus from England.  Things are going well here.  Everyone is so nice and patient when I try to talk to them.  And their stories are interesting.  Some people are at the school to learn French so that they can study toward an MBA, some are recent immigrants with families who need to learn the language to get a job, and others are exchange students with French majors, or whose universities require a semester or year abroad. 

Oh, and my groundhog has a name--- Boudoin.  It means "brave friend."  My mom found it and I love it!  I bought a pear for him at Loblaw`s today, and I watched from a distance as he peeped back out of his hold hole and then grew comfortable enough to eat the slices.  There`s probably some rule against feeding him, but law enforcement is pretty scarce up here, and as I told my dad when he asked about the legalities, it is a crime of passion.  My love of wildlife will certainly be mitigating.

Also, the British students think that groundhogs and possums are exciting, because they don`t get to see them back home.  So I`m not the only one.   I`m going to make a Boudoin fan page on Facebook.  Because he`s my man.  "Like" and give me your address and I`ll send you an "official supporter" hand-written certificate on notebook paper.  You know you want one.

I'm checking out your moped, not you, dork!

Yep.  As I told some of you via text message, guys ride mopeds up here unironically.

I'm all for going green, but please don't act like you're cool by hunching over on a mini motorcycle with your messenger bag slung across your chest. Please. The look is just not sexy.  I don't know where you're getting the idea that it is.

But then, maybe I just have different taste, being from the exotic land of Upstate New York.

Moving on.

I saw the groundhog today.  I bought birdseed for him at Canadian Tire, but he didn't eat it.  (I looked online later and learned that they like vegetables and fruit.  They have been known to climb trees in pursuit of apples and pears.  So now you know.)  I also bought a voodoo doll from a vending machine there for Christina. 

Canadian Tire is, in Olivia's words, un magasin pour les hommes.  It's what you would get if Sears, Dick's, and Carhart had a baby and raised it in the Quebec wilderness.  There's all kinds of stuff there- tools, hockey gear, kitchen appliances, toilets, bait... I ended up going there twice because the first time I got caught up in the hunt for souvenirs to send back to you all that I forgot the birdseed that I went there in search of.

I also went to Loblaws again to buy my first bag of milk.  Rachel, Olivia, and Olivia's friend Gabrielle were there when I came back.  I was so excited to try it!  They thought my reaction was funny.  To them, bags of milk are a pretty normal thing.  Gabrielle pointed out that the bags "sont plus practique, non?" compared to cartons, and I guess that makes sense.  They're probably better for the environment, you can freeze the extra ones you buy (at least that's what I did.  I don't know if you're actually supposed to do that), and you can show off your nifty milk pitcher whenever you have someone over for cereal. 

I actually put my milk in an enormous Quebec-sized decanter, because it was cheaper than the pitcher and could hold more.

My roommates' classes start tomorrow.  It's probably a good thing, too.  Orientation got a bit crazy.  Olivia came home early from the party last night because she got ketchup in her hair and got really grossed out by it.  But this did not happen accidnetally.  The psych students covered themselves in condiments as part of the festivities.  (Maybe they do that to get a glimpse inside the heads of their future clients.  That's my best guess, anyway.)  Other majors had nerf wars, drove around campus shouting at passerby with bullhorns, or did, as I saw for the first time this afternoon, relay-type activities dressed as wizards.

So that's that.