Fun movie time!

Well, gol-ly.  I just got back from watching Twilight: Part 4 at the theater. 

I am no fan of the series, but my friend Erin and I have now seen all the movies.  We didn't like the first three, which the fans mostly loved, but we like the fourth, which the fans mostly hated.

It was probably the gore.

Now, I'm your typical vegetarian, pacifist, northeastern NPR listener, and I don't like violence.  Usually.  But when it comes to unbearable characters who deserve to be punished by some sort of convoluted supernatural bullshit for their lack of development over three installments, well...that's a different story.

(I'll start by saying I think that the Twilight series is not a good example for the young women to whom it caters. According to its creators: You're not complete until you find a man.  Sex is only okay after marriage, and even then women shouldn't desire it.  Abortion is always morally impermissible, even if carrying the child to term would result in the mother's death.  It's okay for a grown man to fall in love with a baby, as long as he has a premonition showing him how hot she'll be in a few decades. Oh, and cannibalism is totally fine, with a prescription.)

The reason most girls like the Twilight series is the famous love triangle, between a pale, dead Englishman, an American Indian werewolf, and an obnoxious female narrator who is always unhappy about everything.  We pretty much giggled through all of the romantic scenes in the first three movies, while critiquing the poor acting and ridiculous plotline.

But this movie offered us fewer WTF?! laughs and more cringe-inducing violence.  Piles of bleeding corpses, emaciated masochists going under the knife without anesthesia, bones snapping, human body fluids being drunk out of a sippy cup.  The misogynistic undertones didn't even bother me as much this time, probably because I had given up on Bella ever growing a (metaphorical) pair about half way through the first film.  To her credit, she did finally take control of her body by refusing to get a life-saving abortion, even though the men in her life wanted her to.  (Though I have my suspicions that Stephanie Meyers was trying to send a pro-life message rather than a girl-power one.)

The film was equal parts disturbing, hilariously ridiculous, and heavy-handed.  Two thumbs up!

I tried WoW and I hated it.

Yes-- I tried World of Warcraft.  I did my best to give it an honest go.  But I managed to get killed off in the first twenty minutes or so of play and didn't care enough about the game to regenerate myself.

I was open minded-- I ignored my brother's teasing and set up a free trial account, and Blaph the pink-haired Gnome rogue set off on her first and only semi-adventure.

Apparently in WoW, there are two "sides"- they are called the "Alliance" and the "Horde" in the game,  but they're basically Good and Evil as far as I could tell.  Anyway, I was a Good Guy (Gal, really), and began my short-lived time in the world of Azeroth.

In Azeroth, Gnomes are not creepy little garden figurines that come to life under a full moon and murder you in your sleep like they are on Earth.  They are kind of like Santa's elves I guess- they like to "tinker" in "workshops" and "make" stuff.  (It would appear that outsourcing isn't really a concept in the fantasy genre.)

Anyway, after a short introductory video explained all this to me, I was dumped in (and I am not making this up) a Gnomish subway station plagued with dangerous lepers.

Now, I hate germs and disease much more than pretty much everyone else, but this scenario offended my "liberal sensibilities."  In a world where you have all types of magic and healing spells, someone couldn't take the time to sprinkle a little fairy dust on the lepers?  Wasn't that what Jesus wanted us to do (metaphorically speaking)?

Of course, my typed response when the lepers asked for my help was "sorry, i really dont care."  And then I ditched them to go kill fluffy animated bunnies.

So, yeah...

I also learned that in Azeroth, unlike in real life, cowardice is not rewarded.

I was having a fun time stabbing ogres and rabbits and all, but I finally met my end (or rather, Blaph met finally met her end) when I decided it was time to figure out what the hell I was actually supposed to be doing.  (World of Warcraft is not a good place for people who don't like to do video game problem-solving.)  I was walking along when another ogre thing attacked me, unprovoked.  I didn't really feel like fighting, so I decided to run away using the zig-zag patterns that zebras use to tire out ravenous cheetahs.

But Blizzard doesn't like it when you do that.  Blizzard sends other monsters after you to punish you for your pacifistic approach.  The monsters gang up on you, and the next thing you know you are in a graveyard, being told to "find your body" if you want to keep playing.

And if you don't, you click the exit button, shut down your computer, and thank God that you didn't enjoy your short-lived foray into the World of Warcraft.

A new adventure

To my dear readers:

As some of you already know, my time in Quebec has come to a close for now.  I will of course visit my new friends in Trois-Rivieres from time to time, but I am once again living in Upstate New York.

But I wouldn't want to deprive you all of the pleasure that reading my blog gives you.  I have decided to keep writing about my strange experiences, only this time, I will go out looking for them instead of letting them come to me. (Living in a foreign country is bound to bring more new adventures to your door than hanging out in the same town you suffered through high school in.)

I will start trying things that have never interested me, to see if I'm missing out on anything.  I haven't tried a lot of typical "fun" things because my own bizarre interests take up most of my time.  (How many yodeling, goundhog-feeding foreign-language enthusiasts do you know?)

On the agenda:

-Try World of Warcraft (I realized I shouldn't make fun of people who play it unless I am absolutely sure it is as lame as it sounds.)
-Camp out at a protest (I'm too moderate to be really "into" most political causes, but hey- people and their beliefs fascinate me.)
-Go "hunting" (I'm a strict vegetarian, so I wouldn't be able to do much besides sit in a tree stand.  But still.)

Please, if you know me and know what doesn't interest me-- or if you don't know me but know of something cool that I should try-- comment!  Who knows- you may just introduce me to something I'll end up adopting as a hobby!

Ottawa!

Well, I just got back from Ottawa last night.  Some friends and I stayed at a hostel there to experience the capital of the country we are staying in.  It was really pretty: castle-type buildings, a Parliament modeled after the English one, a lack of litter and urine on the sidewalks...basically, exactly what you would expect of a major Canadian city.

I have run into a bit of problem, though.  Whenever I appear in photographs now, I look quite pudgy.  I haven`t gained weight- it`s just that the camera adds 10 pounds, and the parka adds about 20 more.  To avoid wearing the parka would be to avoid staying warm, so I really have no choice when I`m traveling. So don`t think I`ve "let myself go" when you see the images on Facebook.

Ready for liftoff!

Well, I had a pleasant return visit to Upstate New York, but tomorrow I'm hitting the road to go back to the Great White North.  I've spent the past few days gathering my provisions and supplies for the journey ahead.
Already acquired:

One (1) Large box of Nerds (to give to my friend Hannah if I do not eat them all on the bus.) (I would like to apologize in advance to Hannah for eating her Nerds.)

Two (2) Flannel shirts, purple in hue (Never thought I'd say this, but I need to wear more plaid if I want to fit in)

One (1) Complete season of South Park (As the DVD's of Futurama were too expensive and Comedy Central doesn't stream to Canada.)

Two (2) Books: Dostoevsky's The Idiot (so I have something to read when I'm feeling like the only sane person in a world gone mad), as well as a guide to humorous Quebecois expressions (when I'm in a more lighthearted, utilitarian mood.)

Seventeen (17) containers of various types of medication and nasal sprays (I'm not sure why they gave me nasal sprays because my ear hurts.  Maybe my pharmacist is just sadistic.)



Yet to be acquired:

One (1) decent pair of Smugglin' pants

Two (2) bus tickets

Various (4<) Garden gnome accessories.

I feel really bad because I screwed up my schedule and was consequently unable to visit my best friend in the whole wide world this week.  I had a Quebec-pride flask to give her, but she never got it.  (I'm sorry, Erin.)  So I have decided to start dressing up the garden gnome she gave me at Christmastime in seasonal outfits when I get back to TR, and I will send her pictures.  That way, it'll be almost like we are together for HolidaySeasonPreparationTime! again.

Any suggestions for what I should pack the next time I make the trip?  Or for HolidaySeasonPreparationTime! ?

Much love,
D

Hockey!

On Friday night, I went to my first Canadian hockey match.  The UQTR was playing Laurier.  Unfortunately, we arrived after the match had started (there was some confusion as to which arena we were supposed to go, and then we got very lost on our way to the correct location.)  But what we saw was quite entertaining.  Hockey is a fast-moving sport, and there is a lot of sportmanslike violence.

At the end of the match, I was a bit disappointed- no fights had broken out, and there was no blood on the ice.  I did, however, enjoy some deliciously greasy frites during halftime, so that made the players' safety a little less disappointing.

And, for all of my Upstate NY readers- I'll be coming round the mountains in a week for a visit home! Call me if you want to hang out.

New Post!

The weather is terrible right now, but I am in a great mood!  Do you want to know why?  Well, I'll tell you!

I tried to walk to Loblaws about an hour ago but I had barely left my apartment when the sky got black and the rain started pouring.  (It's been pretty wet here in T.R. lately.)  I was going to keep going, but the wind was making this weird buzzing noise, and figured that I should go back inside just in case we were having another tornado.  Since everyone in New York knew about the tornado before I did last time, I decided to turn on the Quebec news, so that I wouldn't feel like an idiot again incase something newsworthy happened.

Well, there was no tornado reported, but I noticed that I was understanding all of the stories!  Which is pretty exciting, as I've only been here for less than two months.  My French really has gotten better! While I still struggle to speak it sometimes, it is much easier to understand what other people are saying, even on TV, where they aren't slowing down for me.

I've also been watching a show on Canal D called Legendes Urbaines, which is about- you guessed it!- urban legends.  Tonight's episode told the story of a woman who supposedly got herpes in her eye after a male stripper threw his underwear on her face, and that of a guy who was pretending to talk on his cell phone in a very exclusive club that didn't get cellular service, and everyone knew but him.  It's kind of like Snopes, but the stories are told in the style of a true-crime TV show, so it's hard to figure out whether or not the legends actually happened.  (For some reason, re-enactments make everything more believable for me.)